Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself
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The instant New York Times best seller
End the struggle, speak up for what you need, and experience the freedom of being truly yourself.
Healthy boundaries. We all know we should have them – in order to achieve work/life balance, cope with toxic people, and enjoy rewarding relationships with partners, friends, and family. But what do “healthy boundaries” really mean – and how can we successfully express our needs, say “no”, and be assertive without offending others?
Licensed counselor, sought-after relationship expert, and one of the most influential therapists on Instagram Nedra Glover Tawwab demystifies this complex topic for today’s world. In a relatable and inclusive tone, Set Boundaries, Find Peace presents simple-yet-powerful ways to establish healthy boundaries in all aspects of life. Rooted in the latest research and best practices used in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), these techniques help us identify and express our needs clearly and without apology – and unravel a root problem behind codependency, power struggles, anxiety, depression, burnout, and more.
SLIM –
Great Read
This was given as a gift. It was much appreciated.
Midwest Momâs Review –
Life changing book, structured well
I recently finished reading this book, and itâs truly a game-changer! Itâs easy to read and understand, with clear examples that make the concepts come to life. The book provides practical advice that helps rethink how to approach stressful situations, offering fresh perspectives and strategies for staying level-headed in stressful scenarios. Itâs incredibly helpful and insightful, making it a must-read for anyone looking to be less of a people pleaser and more of a self advocate. I highly recommend this book to everyone!
Rheagan –
This book should be required reading in high schools; an absolute must-read for everyone!
Disclaimer: I received an advance copy of this book as part of the launch team, but I was not required to write a positive review. My thoughts are my own.I wish I had the words to adequately express how much this book has helped me in my journey towards finding true peace and empowerment within myself.I grew up in a very enmeshed family where boundaries were completely non-existent. My impulse to do whatever I could to please everyone, and to try to be everything to everyone, was ingrained in me since birth. I gave pieces of myself away every day, and as I got older, I realized that I was empty. I had nothing left to give; but somehow, I just kept on giving.Around eighteen years old, I had an epiphany when I learned what ‘codependency’ and ‘boundaries’ were. It hit me like a ton of bricks: I needed boundaries in my life. This was terrifying to me, because even just the thought of saying ‘no’ to people would leave me with feelings of excruciating guilt and anxiety. I imagined it would be unbearable.I started to collect every book I could find on the subject of codependency and boundaries; and although I learned many new and enlightening things about these subjects, I still kept reverting back to old patterns. I had an understanding of codependency, and I knew I needed to start setting boundaries, but I still couldn’t figure out how to do it.Last year, I discovered Nedra on Instagram. Every one of her posts were so on point. It was like, all this time, the lightbulb was dangling over my head, but her words finally switched it ON. I was ecstatic when I learned she was writing a book. I thought, “Well, if her book is anything like these posts, that is what I need!”. I signed up to be a part of the book’s launch team, and that was one of the best decisions I’ve made for myself in a very long time.The reason ‘Set Boundaries, Find Peace’ has been so much more helpful to me than all the other books I’ve read on boundaries, is that it is so clear and direct – which is exactly what Nedra explains you have to be when setting boundaries. The way the chapters are organized is very clean and simple, and the exercises really challenge you to connect with yourself, and get to the heart of the matter you’re trying to work through. She emphasizes pushing through the feelings of guilt, and explains so concisely how guilt can trick us into believing we’re doing something wrong simply by saying ‘no’, or asking for help.On page 252, she says, “Remember: there is no such thing as guilt-free boundary setting. If you want to minimize (not eliminate) guilt, change the way you think about the process. Stop thinking about boundaries as mean or wrong; start to believe they’re a nonnegotiable part of healthy relationships, as well as a self-care and wellness practice.”She also gives you the exact words to use when setting a certain boundary, and she doesn’t leave anything to ambiguity. Not only does she include examples of real life scenarios where certain boundaries are necessary, she tells you precisely how to go about setting these boundaries in your own life. This is what every other book I’d read before was lacking. This is where the other books fell short. Nedra doesn’t just give you the tools; she tells you, clearly and directly, how to use them.I am so grateful that I got to be a part of this book’s launch team, and even though I wish this book existed years ago, I am so grateful that it exists in the world now.Give yourself one of the greatest gifts you ever could, and read this book. While I was reading it, there were times I had to put it down for a couple of days and really face some hard truths, but this is how we grow; this is how we ultimately find peace. We push through the tough stuff, and come out on the other side feeling more empowered than we ever thought possible; and this book will guide you through it, every step of the way.
Amazon Customer –
a great primer on the need for and how to set boundaries
This is an Easy read. Very helpful content⦠after reading this I realized how little I and others set the appropriate boundaries.
Essie –
Must buy
This book is the best ever. It has helped in so many ways and I have told so many others about it and they have ordered it as well. You will not be disappointed in this purchase
ashley marie –
Boundary Helper
It is a great read and amazing to be able to get steps to becoming a better you. Every time that I need a reminder, I open up the book to gain perspective
:-) –
Good healthy boundaries recommendations!
This book is gives a clear understanding of what toxic boundaries may look like and offer a variety of ways to implement healthy boundaries. It hit close to home of your someone who always going over and beyond for anything of anyone.
Stephanie G. –
Adding this to my life of life-changing books!
This book will sit in honor with other books that have changed my life. It’s officially part of a special group of books that continue to speak to me in big ways. I’ve already seen my life changing as I read it, implementing new baby boundaries (for now ) to practice the work on. I can honestly say that my life is moving from a deficit mindset to true happiness knowing that I have the skills and knowledge to implement and uphold boundaries for myself, and others. It’s easy to understand, outlined perfectly, with homework so that it sinks in. I highly recommend it as my go-to-book for changing your life. It’s not just about boundaries, it’s about reciprocity, responsibility to self, reclamation of the life you were meant to live, and happiness. Thank you, Nedra!
Mercedes –
Buena guia práctica⦠da buenos ejemplos y plantea ejercicios prácticos para que no sólo quede en teoria
Richard –
This book can be a life changer if you haven’t been applying boundaries in your life. It has greatly helped me in applying boundaries at work and in my relationships. It is written in a clear way, which is easy to understand. It is not all academic, but rather provides practical ways in which you can go about applying boundaries in your life. Right down to the wording you can use when people push back and challenge your boundaries. One of the most useful and impactful self help books I’ve ever read. 5 stars all the way. Highly recommended.
Yen Liu –
The author lays out the points in straightforward terms, and leaves very little wiggle room. There are concrete sentences and examples that are extremely, EXTREMELY helpful. It really should have been that simple all along. Reading this made me realise just how much more peace and freedom I could have had my whole life. It also gives practical guides for how to actually set the boundaries. I think we commonly take in words from other people’s mouths just so readily, not realising that words not just only mean something, but DO things to our soul as well. But so very often people who struggle with boundaries treat utterances as “equal” and respond to them without verifying if we need to respond in the first place. It’s not just about saying No or total rejection. It’s about all the follow-ups and enacting the intention behind the “no” as well. In other words, this book is very nuanced, and not some simplistic BS about “rejecting toxic people” “just say no”, etc. Tawwab goes through why it matters and how to really make it a principle. A transformative read that should be taught in high school!
Lama –
Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab is a life-changing guide to reclaiming control of your time, energy, and emotional well-being. As someone who has often struggled with people-pleasing and the guilt that comes with setting boundaries, this book felt like a gentle yet firm reminder that protecting my peace is not selfishâit’s necessary.Tawwab’s approach is refreshingly practical. She breaks down complex concepts about boundariesâbe they emotional, physical, or digitalâinto clear, actionable steps. I appreciated her real-life examples and how they showed that boundaries can be applied in every relationship, from family to work to friendships. Her emphasis on self-awareness was especially eye-opening for me; it helped me identify where Iâve been overextending myself and why.One of the most powerful takeaways was learning that “no” is a complete sentence. This simple yet profound idea encouraged me to communicate my needs without overexplaining, which has been liberating. The sections on handling pushback and staying consistent with boundaries were also incredibly helpful, as they provided me with strategies to handle discomfort and guilt.If youâre looking for a book that blends psychology, personal growth, and practical advice, this is it. Tawwabâs compassionate yet straightforward tone makes this a must-read for anyone feeling drained by the expectations of others. Itâs a reminder that peace begins with usâand that boundaries are an essential tool in building a life of freedom and balance.
Jaspreet k. –
This book is all you need if you too lack boundaries in any sphere of your life n well itâs not just a book it just makes you aware where youâre lacking if you too feel overwhelmed regarding healthy boundaries